What do holidays mean? Photos. Lots and lots of photos. Here are a few from my Christmas experience this year.

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It’s Christmas Eve in Texas and all is as it should be: The sisters are in the kitchen preparing for tomorrow’s feast, the young’ns (and old folks) are fast asleep, and I’m relaxing with the dogs as Christmas music plays in the background. I’m a sucker for the holidays. I love the food, the family, the lights, the music, the coldness, candlelight services, everything. I even have certain images associated with various Christmas songs. For instance, whenever I hear “The Christmas Song” I get a warm feeling and envision dancing with that special someone alone on Christmas Eve, the fireplace crackling in the background, the lights twinkling, the snow falling… I’m hopeless, I know.

Back to reality. The house is full, so this is the luxury suite that I will be occupying tonight (notice the bottle of wine on the dresser in case of emergency):

I’m not complaining. Those animal prints are badass. Not to mention the killer stuffed animal collection. I’ll sleep well tonight.

Merry Christmas y’all!

It’s early in the morning and I’m the only one awake in my mom’s place. I’m lying on the couch fighting fatigue, while my dog, haven given in long ago, lies at my feet. The apartment is packed with people sleeping comforted by family an arms reach away. It’s a good feeling. It’s strange.

Family isn’t always what we want it to be. Christmas time was always a season when I longed for that movie-perfect Christmas experience, but the differences between my parents (pre- and post- divorce), my mom and half-sisters, myself and my father, all created a very unwelcoming environment during the holidays, to say the least. I usually ended up spending as little time as possible at home.

After I left for college things started to change. Rather, we made them change. I bridged the gap between my sisters and my mom, and they discovered that they really liked each other after all. From there we joined with my brother-in-law and his parents, then reached out to extended family. I’d always made my friends my family, bringing them into my life and celebrating holidays with them. Now I was making my actual family my family.

As we were eating Christmas dinner last year, my sister said how happy she was that we were really being a family for the first time. I don’t think that really hit me until just now, because this year it isn’t something new anymore. It’s something better. It simply is.

This Christmas season I’m especially attune to the disparity between the affluence of American gift giving and the absolute poverty of others. Organizations such as the Advent Conspiracy bring to light the devastating lack of basic needs in many third-world countries. I’m torn between buying presents as normal (and neglecting the needs of others outside my social circle) or forgoing gift-giving this year and donating the funds (thereby hampering the experience of those close to me who perhaps don’t share my compassion).

My friend Jamie wrote about her thoughts on the subject and the ensuing dilemma of exchanging gifts with her family and children. I can totally sympathize; how do you explain to a three- or four-year-old that he won’t be getting gifts this year, even though all his friends are? Can you expect your family to go along with your charity, even if it’s not an issue to them? Isn’t there some balance to be had?

I’m not sure what the perfect answer is. Maybe I should feel guilty because I have a decent apartment and a decent car and I can give gifts to my family at Christmas. Maybe I should live as meagerly as possible and donate all my extra cash. Or maybe not. Maybe either extreme isn’t healthy.

For 2009 I’ve committed to sponsor a child through Compassion International, an organization that provides for the economic and social welfare of impoverished children around the world. My new buddy’s name is Angello, he lives in the Dominican Republic, and (through no coincidence of choice) we share the same birthday. My sister is collecting soap and shampoo for the homeless in Houston and donating to the Star of Hope Mission (you can contact her at michelle.higgins [at] att.net if you want to help out). Jamie is finding comfort in providing for her children and supporting others.

I still don’t know what the perfect answer is, but as with everything in life, balance is key.

Here’s to sharing the true joy and love of Christmas.