It’s Christmas Eve in Texas and all is as it should be: The sisters are in the kitchen preparing for tomorrow’s feast, the young’ns (and old folks) are fast asleep, and I’m relaxing with the dogs as Christmas music plays in the background. I’m a sucker for the holidays. I love the food, the family, the lights, the music, the coldness, candlelight services, everything. I even have certain images associated with various Christmas songs. For instance, whenever I hear “The Christmas Song” I get a warm feeling and envision dancing with that special someone alone on Christmas Eve, the fireplace crackling in the background, the lights twinkling, the snow falling… I’m hopeless, I know.

Back to reality. The house is full, so this is the luxury suite that I will be occupying tonight (notice the bottle of wine on the dresser in case of emergency):

I’m not complaining. Those animal prints are badass. Not to mention the killer stuffed animal collection. I’ll sleep well tonight.

Merry Christmas y’all!

It’s early in the morning and I’m the only one awake in my mom’s place. I’m lying on the couch fighting fatigue, while my dog, haven given in long ago, lies at my feet. The apartment is packed with people sleeping comforted by family an arms reach away. It’s a good feeling. It’s strange.

Family isn’t always what we want it to be. Christmas time was always a season when I longed for that movie-perfect Christmas experience, but the differences between my parents (pre- and post- divorce), my mom and half-sisters, myself and my father, all created a very unwelcoming environment during the holidays, to say the least. I usually ended up spending as little time as possible at home.

After I left for college things started to change. Rather, we made them change. I bridged the gap between my sisters and my mom, and they discovered that they really liked each other after all. From there we joined with my brother-in-law and his parents, then reached out to extended family. I’d always made my friends my family, bringing them into my life and celebrating holidays with them. Now I was making my actual family my family.

As we were eating Christmas dinner last year, my sister said how happy she was that we were really being a family for the first time. I don’t think that really hit me until just now, because this year it isn’t something new anymore. It’s something better. It simply is.