Getting a healthy dose of Christmas spirit at the Trail of Lights in Austin.

My buddy Vince was commissioned into the Marine Corp just before Christmas.

The look Cain gave me when he thought I was leaving him in Austin.

Christmas morning at my mom’s.

Christmas lunch at Michelle’s (her tree was awesome!).

Michelle and my mom posing against their will.

Playing with their new toys.

Family time.

Roman and his favorite pastime: posing for the camera.

How I got through the holiday… just kidding… maybe.

Roman opening his gift from me (I stole Santa’s entire sack, as you can see).

Poor Lucy wondering why all the gifts aren’t wrapped in dog treats.

Oh, and the best Christmas moment? My mom–who attended a church service for the first time in eight years–-accidentally exclaiming “Oh, damnit!” during Silent Night. Priceless.

Family isn’t always what we want it to be. Christmas time was always a season when I longed for that movie-perfect Christmas experience, but the differences between my parents (pre- and post- divorce), my mom and half-sisters, myself and my father, all created a very unwelcoming environment during the holidays, to say the least. I usually ended up spending as little time as possible at home.

After I left for college things started to change. Rather, we made them change. I bridged the gap between my sisters and my mom, and they discovered that they really liked each other after all. From there we joined with my brother-in-law and his parents, then reached out to extended family. I’d always made my friends my family, bringing them into my life and celebrating holidays with them. Now I was making my actual family my family.

As we were eating Christmas dinner last year, my sister said how happy she was that we were really being a family for the first time. I don’t think that really hit me until just now, because this year it isn’t something new anymore. It’s something better. It simply is.

My friend Jamie wrote about her thoughts on the subject and the ensuing dilemma of exchanging gifts with her family and children. I can totally sympathize; how do you explain to a three- or four-year-old that he won’t be getting gifts this year, even though all his friends are? Can you expect your family to go along with your charity, even if it’s not an issue to them? Isn’t there some balance to be had?

I’m not sure what the perfect answer is. Maybe I should feel guilty because I have a decent apartment and a decent car and I can give gifts to my family at Christmas. Maybe I should live as meagerly as possible and donate all my extra cash. Or maybe not. Maybe either extreme isn’t healthy.

For 2009 I’ve committed to sponsor a child through Compassion International, an organization that provides for the economic and social welfare of impoverished children around the world. My new buddy’s name is Angello, he lives in the Dominican Republic, and (through no coincidence of choice) we share the same birthday. My sister is collecting soap and shampoo for the homeless in Houston and donating to the Star of Hope Mission (you can contact her at michelle.higgins [at] att.net if you want to help out). Jamie is finding comfort in providing for her children and supporting others.

I still don’t know what the perfect answer is, but as with everything in life, balance is key.

Here’s to sharing the true joy and love of Christmas.